Here's how to maintain a healthy level of insanity...

Enter at Your OWN risk.

Moderator: Officers

Here's how to maintain a healthy level of insanity...

Postby Offem » Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:32 pm

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation Anywhere Anytime

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14 Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, "Rock Hard."

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."


:jester
"Music makes the world go round, just listen closely and you'll hear the sounds."
User avatar
Offem
 
Posts: 420
Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:53 pm
Location: In a worm hole between Earth and Norrath
Highscores: 1

Postby Clarr » Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:39 pm

:jester That was truly funny!
:titanic Clarr
User avatar
Clarr
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 10:47 pm

Postby Offem » Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:02 pm

I've used #3 before (I'm glad the crew chiefs and my superviser had a sense of humor haha...they started saying that too)

I did #5 too....that was insane!

And yes, I've done #17....and I've been asked if I smoke crack too.



Two honorable mentions (They're not on the list) that I've done are:

a) Walked around stores strategically placing packages of condoms into shopping carts (it's funny watching old ladies' reactions at the check out register)

b) I've looked up at a security camera in Walmart and yelled "I'm HOME!!!"



Sad, funny, and all true.
"Music makes the world go round, just listen closely and you'll hear the sounds."
User avatar
Offem
 
Posts: 420
Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:53 pm
Location: In a worm hole between Earth and Norrath
Highscores: 1

Postby Chadeaux » Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:02 am

haha I am gonna try the waste basket on my desk thing today :P
User avatar
Chadeaux
Member
 
Posts: 1435
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2007 10:51 am
Location: Oregon


Return to Humor

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron