The Guys' rules

Enter at Your OWN risk.

Moderator: Officers

The Guys' rules

Postby Bilnick » Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:54 pm

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down


Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
User avatar
Bilnick
Officer
 
Posts: 5494
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2003 3:32 pm
Location: Saline, Michigan

haha

Postby bill » Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:23 pm

Camping! :thumbup
User avatar
bill
Member
 
Posts: 12079
Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2003 2:21 pm
Location: Stoneham, MA

Postby Worff » Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:30 pm

The couch is usually in front of the TV with the biggest screen in the house too :thumbup
Worff Makesitso - Magelo | EQPlayers
Image
User avatar
Worff
Webmaster
 
Posts: 5403
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 3:37 pm
Location: Galveston, Texas
Highscores: 42

Postby Uilea » Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:41 pm

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.


Ok, this one made me laugh
User avatar
Uilea
Member
 
Posts: 2939
Joined: Mon May 24, 2004 10:47 am
Location: Denver

.

Postby arielyn » Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:50 pm

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


PWNT
Image

My Crappy Gear

www.worksinfaith.org
My Sister's non profit organization.
arielyn
Lurker
 
Posts: 2145
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2003 11:43 am
Location: Yo mamma's hizzouse


Return to Humor

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron