Kids Quotes

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Kids Quotes

Postby arielyn » Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:19 pm

Kid Quotes
Sometimes kids say things in innocence that are simply hilarious. Here's an assortment of selected quotations from kids.


Quick Quotations:

"I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave

"I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old

"TNT." -- Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word "dynamite."

"I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.

"I had to read and write six book reports." -- Girl, in an email to her friend, attempting to explain what she had to do over the summer. She later tried sending a correction, which read, "I had to read and write six books."

"Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent." -- 12 year old daughter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean

"Do they look after the Pokemon?" -- City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.

"Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive

"I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.

"There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.

"Quiet!" -- 4 year old, when asked what begins with 'M' and sounds good.

"If I was a raccoon I would eat the farmer's corpse." -- A kindergartener, writing a story about what we would do if he were a raccoon

"Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.

"Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens

"How will that help?" -- Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom

"They didn't see it -- it was all cut off!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother was asked how his grandparents liked his new haircut

"Tell me when you're asleep, ok?" -- 7 year old son, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother.

"I had a fraction in my neck and had to go to the hospital for a long time." -- Fifth grader, to his class.

"Well you're old, and you're not dead." -- "3 year old son, to his father. The comment followed an explanation of why the father's grandparents weren't around anymore.

"Are you kidding me?! They go together like balogna and cheese! No, wait. More like mayonnaise and bread." -- 9 year old girl, when asked if her brother and cousin hang out a lot.

"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." -- A young son, examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers

"Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet." -- 3 year old son, when his mother told him his shoes were on the wrong feet

"Mommy, you said it would be a shot; instead it was a needle!" -- Boy, overheard at the hospital

"How do you put make up on your mind?" -- Girl, when told she should make up her mind.

"I wish someone we knew would die so we could leave them flowers." -- 6 year old girl, upon seeing flowers in a cemetery.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer

"Watch out, Daddy. Mommy's got her eye on you!" -- 4 year old girl, after hearing her mother telling her father that she'd take an I.O.U. for a promised restaurant dinner.

"I didn't look much -- I've only got little eyes!" -- 7 year old, about to be scolded for peeking at her Christmas presents.

"When you were my age, you was just a baby!" -- 5 year old.

"Why don't they just do what they did in 1899?" -- On preparing for Y2K in 1999.

"Daddy doesn't like that man, does he?" -- Daughter of John Cleese and Connie Booth, during the filming of the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.


In a preschool class I used to teach, we had two little girls who played every day that they were characters from classic Disney cartoons. One day I heard one calling the other "Allison." I didn't know a single Disney character named Allison, so I asked the little girl who she was today. She replied, "Allison Wonderland."


Conversation overheard at a zoo in Tasmania, where a young kid was looking at a wombat:

Kid: "Look Dad, dog!"
Dad: "No, not a dog. Remember, we talked about what this is?"
Kid: (thinks) "Dog!"
Dad: "Noooo. It starts with a 'w'."
Kid: "W......w......w......wdog!"


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."


When I called home one day, my six year old son answered the phone. "Hello," he said, panting a little. I said, "Hi, Nick. Wow, you sound out of breath." He replied, "No, I have more."


A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer
God that is priceless.

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Postby Lyannah » Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:41 pm

This post reminds me of a joke:

John the plumber phones up a customer regarding some piping work that needed doing. A child's voice answers very quietly over the receiver "hello". John says, "hello there, this is John the plumber. Is your mother home"? The voice hushly responds "yes". John says "well may I speak with her"? and the voice quietly replied "no".

John said "ok, well is your father home"? to which the child quietly responded "yes". John asked if he could talk with him but the child simply whispered "no".

John thought for a minute and then said "is there anyone else is the house at the moment"? and the small voice said "yes there's policemen here and firemen". A bit startled John asked if he could talk to any of them but the voice quietly said "no".

Now quite frustrated John said "your parents are both home as well as police and the fire brigade, why can't I talk with any of them?". The little voice whispered back "they're all looking for me".
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