SEX SEX SEX! And Everquest too!

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SEX SEX SEX! And Everquest too!

Postby Jamjum » Wed Jun 08, 2005 2:14 am

SOE recently announced a sexual proficiency skill (no really I swear!)...probably something like this...

You are currently awful at sex.
Harry Scruffnuts says, "Greetings Youngblood. Want to train in sex?"
Your skin turns hard as wood.
You have learned the basics of sex.
Harry Scruffnuts says, "Go Youngblood, and use your skills wisely."
Try having sex with something other than yourself, it's more productive.
Boner auctions, "wtb sex. offering 20 pp. give /t"
You must first target the creature you wish to have sex with.
That creature is to far away to have sex.
Bambi Wonderlumps regards you indifferently -- looks like an even fight.
Youngblood bows before Bambi in humility and reverance.
Bambi giggles at Youngblood.
Bambi Wonderlumps resists your sex!
Bambi Wonderlumps is looking at your equipment.
Youngblood is interested in making a trade.
Bambi Wonderlumps has joined the group.
Your skin turns hard as stone.
Your sex fizzles!
Your sex fizzles!
Your sex fizzles!
You have successfully had sex!
You feel much better.
You have gotten better at sex! (1)
Your faction with Bambi Wonderlumps has gotten better.
Your faction with Bambi Wonderlump's father has gotten worse.
Boner auctions, " Ok! 30 pp for sex! Please gimme a tell!"
It will take about 30 seconds to prepare your camp. (logoff)

(logon)
You have entered the Plains of Norath.
You have formed the group.
Your sex fizzles!
Your sex fizzles!
You have successfully had sex!
You haven't recovered yet...
You have successfully had sex!
You have gotten better at sex! (2)
You feel much better.
You have combined 2 things together to create something new!
There is no place to put that a baby in your inventory.
Your baby falls to the ground.
That baby cannot be dropped, traded, or sold.
You are now encumbered.
Your baby is hungry and low on milk.
Sneed Galloway says, "I will give you absolutely nothing for that a baby."
Necrocaster auctions, "WTB med to high quality baby for evil sacrifice quest."
Youngblood is interested in making a trade.
Bambi tells you, "I'm busy right now."
Bambi tells you, "I'm busy right now."
Bambi Wonderlumps tells you, "Not tonight, dear. I have a headache."
Boner shouts, "somebody have sex with me! name your price!!!!"
Snyde says out of character, "try the troll camp, boner!"
It will take about 30 seconds to prepare your camp.
Your meditation is interrupted!
Bambi Wonderlumps tells you, "It's your turn to change the baby, dear."
You lack the experience to change that diaper!
You lack the experience to change that diaper!
You cannot put that baby in a container.
You lack the experience to change that diaper!
You have become better at changing diapers! (1)
It will take about 30 seconds to prepare your camp.
Your meditation is interrupted!
Are you sure you want to destroy that a baby?
You have destroyed the item you were holding.
It will take about 30 seconds to prepare your camp. (logoff)

(logon)
You have entered the Plains of Norath.
Exxxotic tells you, "Hiya big boy. hunt around here often?"
You are inspecting Exxxotic.
Exxxotic regards you amiably -- you would probably win this fight.
Exxxotic is looking at your equipment.
Exxxotic grabs hold of Youngblood and begins to dance with it.
Your skin turns hard as steel.
Youngblood is interested in making a trade.
Exxxotic invites you to join a group.
You are currently in another group.
Only your leader may invite someone to join the group.
Bambi Wonderlumps tells you, "excuse me? who the fygc is this?"
Bambi Wonderlumps glares at you threateningly -- what would you like your tombstone to say?
You taunt a Bambi to ignore others and start attacking you!
A Bambi slaps YOU for 82 points of damage!
You try to hit a Bambi, but a Bambi dodges!
A Bambi slaps YOU for 87 points of damage!
You try to hit a Bambi, but a Bambi parries!
A Bambi kicks YOU for 76 points of damage!
You begin to cast a spell.
A Bambi punches YOU for 105 points of damage!
Your casting is interrupted!
You cannot attack while you are stunned!
A Bambi head butts YOU for 120 points of damage!
You shout, " pissed off girlfriend to zone! Run for your lives!"
A Bambi scores a critical hit! (205)
A Bambi knees YOU in the groin for 205 points of damage!
You have been slain by a Bambi Wonderlumps. Returning to home point.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered the Plains of Norath.
Bambi Wonderlumps has disbanded from the group.
Try having sex with something other than yourself, it's more productive.
You told Exxxotic, "Hey baby. You still want to get together?"
Exxxotic tells you, "Sorry. I've found a real man."
Boner tells you, "hehehe =)"
You shout, "AAARGH!!!"
It will take about 30 seconds to prepare your camp.
Are you sure you want to delete Youngblood?
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haha

Postby bill » Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:31 am

That baby cannot be dropped, traded, or sold.

hahahahahahahaha
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Postby Irish » Sun Jun 12, 2005 8:24 am

yeeehaa LOL :jester
IrishHealer Sunspeaker 75 Cleric Of Tunare, EVER SO PROUD member of Tribal Fury
I am NOT a DRAMA QUEEN .....I am the DRAMA GODDESS!! GET IT RIGHT...
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Re: SEX SEX SEX! And Everquest too!

Postby Yoshikawa » Sun Jun 12, 2005 5:12 pm

that had to be one of the funiest things i've seen in a while, no mention of beer or other alcoholic beverage though

Qurillanea wrote:Necrocaster auctions, "WTB med to high quality baby for evil sacrifice quest."

nearly peed myself laughing when i read that line

new Gnome tinker items.....dildos

The Black Monster
Magic Item
Skill: 2HB
Weight: 1.5 Size: Giant
Slot: Primary, or....(no im not gonna say it)
Damage: 1 Delay: 10
Effect: Fear (combat)
Effect: Orgasm (triggered)
On the black wind forever we ride on together
Destroying your evil with freedom our guide
When the master will storm us
He'll stand high before us
Our hearts filled with splendour
Our swords will shine over the light
___Valley Of The Damned - Dragonforce

Yoshikawa Matsumori - Lv.75 Monk
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