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Stimulus Checks

PostPosted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 9:28 am
by Worff
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
Spending your stimulus check wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .



* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .




* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. . )


Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Re: Stimulus Checks

PostPosted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:29 pm
by Serano
they could prolly buy some sheet metal. that would go to US. or a US made car - then they would be buying it from themselves.

Re: Stimulus Checks

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 6:34 am
by Goofydoofy
They really doing this again or is that a joke too?

Re: Stimulus Checks

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:58 pm
by Ceruis
Serano wrote:they could prolly buy some sheet metal. that would go to US. or a US made car - then they would be buying it from themselves.


Sorry...all car parts were made in SE Asia.

Re: Stimulus Checks

PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 8:41 pm
by Worff
Goofydoofy wrote:They really doing this again or is that a joke too?


Nah ahah at least not that I know of... this was a joke from last year I just didnt find until this year /nod

Re: Stimulus Checks

PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:26 am
by Goofydoofy
Bummer, I could use another $300.