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New diet

PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:16 am
by Meso
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet,
the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because
the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Re: New diet

PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:41 am
by Goofydoofy
Pussy has 0 calories. So, if you eat plenty of pussy, you should lose wait. Just watch out for the yeast infections.

Re: New diet

PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:07 am
by Serano
Goofydoofy wrote:Pussy has 0 calories. So, if you eat plenty of pussy, you should lose wait. Just watch out for the yeast infections.


Thats not true. there is calories in that.

Re: New diet

PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 8:30 am
by Goofydoofy
Well, I eat goat pussy and there are no calories. Not sure about any others.

Maybe I am wrong. I better break out my Mr. Science kit and do some research.

These are the kind of hard facts people want to know!

Re: New diet

PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:55 pm
by Goofydoofy
OK, after taking several samples and giving my tongue a major workout, I have concluded that you would ingest about 3 calories per hour of a good session. I base these finding on 25 different samples over a 48 hour period of time. So, in conclusion, eating pussy is close enough to no calories that if you did it enough, you would lose weight and gain friends.

Re: New diet

PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:20 pm
by Meso
did the test sample include any squirters?

Re: New diet

PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:22 am
by Goofydoofy
13.4%