They walk among us

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They walk among us

Postby Meso » Sat Jun 09, 2007 11:46 am

I walked into a Burger King with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a
sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little
chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free". "They're already
buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free".
She handed me my two free sandwiches, and I walked out the door.

They walk among us and they vote.
===================

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of
them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and
said, "Where?"

They walk among us and they vote.
====================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the
call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They walk among us and they vote.
====================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a
seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They walk among us and they vote.
====================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The
cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They walk among us and they vote.
====================

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now ," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

They walk among us and they vote.
====================

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it
cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces."

They walk among us and they vote.
===================
AND THEY REPRODUCE
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Postby Angyish » Sun Jun 10, 2007 5:40 pm

clearly the last guy shoulda had it cut into 6 pieces, then he coulda had breakfast. the next day.

what a noobtard
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Postby Horcrux » Sun Jun 10, 2007 5:54 pm

A few years ago, when I lived in a tiny 1000 person town an hour north of the Mexico border in Arizona, I was at work with a couple people during lunch and we decided to order pizza. Well, obciously splitting 6 pieces between 3 people is easier than 8 pieces, so we requested they cut the pizza into 6 slices instead of 8. We ended up getting about a 20% discount because the pllace couldn't figure out how to cut it into 6 slices, and had to do 8.
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Postby Offem » Mon Jun 11, 2007 1:10 am

Ok I will admit that when I was very young, my father pulled the "Look at the dead bird!" thing on me, and now I do it to other people...it's freaking hilarious.

These remind me so much of the "here's your sign" jokes/situations.
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Postby Serano » Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:57 am

I like giving the gal at taco bell a 2 dollar bill or a Eisenhower dollar to have them ask management if they can accept it.
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Postby Naiin » Tue Jun 12, 2007 5:23 pm

I used to be a contract coatings applicator (thats lawyerese for painter). I was working with my father on a jobsite one day and the Interior Decorator wanted the Birch doors stained a dark red (like mahogany she said). So we went to the store bought the mahogany stain, birch is white, it will look exactly like mahogany with the widest grain you have ever seen. We did a door that had been damaged on one side and was garbage, three different hues or darknesses for her to look at and compare. She liked none of them and had to come back the next day to look at more samples, ( I guess waiting 10 mins woulda killed her). Next day, same door, EXACT same stain, we waited till she got there and began, she loved the first swipe (the exact same thing she hated yesterday..... except WET)..... retarded bitch
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