My History

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My History

Postby Goofydoofy » Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:56 pm

This was posted by a CN member on our forums. I thought it was surprising accurate, so I thought I'd share it:

Great moments in Goofhistory:

July 7th 1966 – Goofy’s mom goes into labor.
July 8th 1966 – Goofy’s mom gives birth to Goofy.
July 8th 1966 at 10pm – Goofy doesn’t like the earth and crawls back into mom.
July 9th 1966 – Goofy’s mom gives birth to Goofy the second time and JB Welds her privates shut so he has to stay borned.

February 2nd 1970 – At the age of 4, Goofy turns 21.
February 3rd 1970 – Goofy finds an attraction to Gordon’s Gin.

October 18th, 1971 – Goofy invents the Goofmometer which is a scientific instrument for taking the temperature of a Goat. It doesn’t go in their mouth. It’s the other kind. Yuck.

May 30th 1975 – The Carpenters release their hit single “Muskrat Love”. Goofy counters with “Goat Love” which was a form of ‘interpretive dance’ that was really ‘interpretive porn… with a goat… and a Goofmometer…” yuck.

March 1st 1980 – Goofy spends a week in a commune attempting to find his innerself.
March 5th 1980 – Goofy realizes that he was actually just spending a week in the dumpster behind a Dairy Queen.
March 5th 1980 – Goofy swears off Gordon’s Gin. Takes up Meth.

Sept 18th 1985 – Goofy shoots one of the Pet Shop Boys for hitting on his goat. Sometimes, you are better off dead.

May 1st 1990 – Goofy pee’s in the refrigerator. Don’t know why.

Dec 10th 1992 – Goofy puts on a Full Size, Body Encompassing, Goofmometer Suit. He then goes to the mini golf course. On the 5th hole he finds a Giant Paper Mache Goat statue. I will not tell you what happens next. It is not pretty.

Jan 1st 1999 – Goofy parties like its 1998.

November, 24th 2004 – Goofy invents Goatsgiving.
November 25th 2004 – Goatsgiving is outlawed in all 50 states due to the horrible “Cranberry” videos that he started distributing.

March 20th 2009 – Goofy nearly electrocuted trying to have cell phone sex for the first time with a Motorola Razor, while it was still plugged in. It was still plugged in at the Verizon Wireless Store. It was the display Model. The police were called. It was sick.

May 5th 2010 – Goofy adopts 46 year old Meth Cook “Binny” McMasterson as his own son.

July 9th 2010 – Goofy has his 44th birthday. Happy birthday you Goofmometer you!
Level 105 Druid, Level 105 Enchanter, Level 105 Paladin
Drinal - Maelin Starpyre Server
Goofydoofy
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Location: Bullhead City, AZ, USA

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